Wedding Stationery: Useful Hints and Tips

UPDATED: DECEMBER 2023

Wedding wording tips

If you think back to all the wedding invites you’ve ever received, you may have noticed that they’re all uniquely worded in some way – though generally will follow a pattern of invitation traditions.

The good news is that the etiquette rules are actually much simpler than you might expect and are only there to serve as guidelines. The most important rule of all is that you work with your stationer to create a meaningful and beautiful wedding invitation that represents you and your love story.

If you’re wondering where to start, and how to adapt the rules in a way that feels personal and respectful, here are some tips from the Ananya Team.

The host

Traditionally, wedding invitations included the bride’s parents’ names, implying that the celebrations were being hosted by the mother and father of the bride. These days, many couples graciously opt to include both sets of parents (regardless of who is contributing more to the budget), or neither, if that feels right. A friendly, collaborative option would be, for example “Together with their parents, Sonia and Tom request the pleasure of your company...” – and your stationer can help you brainstorm the best combination, especially if any of the parents are divorced (include them on separate lines, for example) or no longer with you (in which case you may want to say, “daughter of...” rather than implying the wedding is hosted by them).

The invitation to join

There are many ways to ask your guests to join you in the celebrations, with different levels of formality: for example, "would love for you to join them" is a little less traditional than "request the pleasure of your presence". This is where you’d also include the names of the bride and groom, especially if they haven’t appeared in the host section of the invite.  Traditionally, the name of the bride preceded the groom's name, including middle names and titles if applicable, though couples now often choose to list them alphabetically or in whichever order ‘sounds’ better, and to omit surnames and titles.

The time and place

For formal weddings, everything would be written out in full (no numerals), but this can be written in whichever way feels most natural to you. You would then also include the name of the location, city and full street address. You might choose to have ceremony and reception information on separate cards if you wish, particularly if held in separate locations. If the location is the same, you can add “reception immediately following” or “followed by dinner and dancing” to let your guests know. Generally, you wouldn’t need to include the time that the reception starts unless you don’t want guests moving from one place immediately on to the next.

 The dress code

Wedding invitation etiquette typically suggests that a dress code should be included on the lower right-hand corner of the invitation. Many couples now omit this information or choose more creative wording, especially for destination weddings (“it’s all about the hat”, “cocktail chic”, or “summertime soiree”, for example). If you don't include a note on attire, expect your guests to take a cue from the style of your invitation.

The RSVP

Many couples choose to include a separate response card for guests to fill out and return in the post. If it feels right for you, don’t be afraid to have fun with the wording, so for example, a positive response might be “I’ll be there with bells on”, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world!”, and so on. Some couples also opt to offer the convenience of digital RSVPs, allowing guests to respond electronically through a dedicated wedding website, in which case you can include the website address.

The gift list

Traditionally, it was deemed bad etiquette to include a gift request in wedding invitations, but these days it is widely done by most couples. This saves your guests the time and effort of contacting the wedding party to find out which gifts are needed or suitable, and also removes some of the pressure from them! You can include a message to say how much you appreciate their company, and that you don’t want them to feel obliged to give you a gift - but that if they wish to, there is a gift registry they can use. Asking for financial contributions to a honeymoon or future project is also very common, and widely acceptable now. In Indian weddings often couples will ask for ‘no boxed gifts’ which means that they would prefer money.

Plus ones

Unless your wedding venue and budget can stretch to allowing plus ones to all your guests, try to come up with a rule when sketching your guest list (for example, couples that have been together for a certain amount of time). Then, make it very clear in your invite whether a plus one is included or not by addressing it appropriately – you can even express that your event is private, intimate or small, so guests get the hint!

Children

If the venue or style of wedding is such that children aren’t invited, do make sure this is very clear, as this will affect families that need to make alternative arrangements. Address your invitations to exactly who is invited, or some guests with children might assume their whole family is invited – and you can add a small note on your invite or wedding website explaining tactfully what the situation is. This can be a sensitive issue for many parents, so do invest time on thinking about what you’d like to express. Also, if you’re allowing children of close family but not others, do warn your guests of this with something like “Unfortunately, as much as we’d love to invite all of our friends’ children, we can only accommodate a few close family children. We hope that you will understand this decision and we very much hope you will still be able to join us on our special day”.

In summary, we would recommend giving your guests as much information as you can in an honest and open way, while not being afraid to make it your own.

For any advice on your wedding stationery, or if you would like to work with us here at Ananya, please get in touch to book your complimentary consultation.

WEDDING STATIONERY TIMINGS: A USEFUL GUIDE

The questions we receive most often at Ananya from our couples typically revolve around timing of their wedding stationery, and the stages of the design process. Of course, there’s no right or wrong, and the details will depend upon what makes the most sense for the kind of event you’re hosting – but we thought it might be useful to provide you with an overview of recommended timescales.

As soon as you’re engaged

Photography: by Lumiere

Start researching any stationers whose style you love – it’s never too early to reach out to them to let them know you would like to work with them, so they can start scheduling you in and give you plenty of time to work with you, especially if you would like bespoke wedding stationery. Many couples like to send out an engagement announcement, maybe with a lovely photo of the proposal!

As soon as you know the date and venue

You can place your save the date order at this stage – and you can give as much or as little information as you like. Date and location are key, but of course if you already know it will be a certain type of celebration (for example, multiple days), that’s something you can let guests know now.

6-12 months before the wedding

This is a typical timescale for sending out save the dates, but of course this will depend on your guest list and venue. If you are planning a destination wedding, giving your guests more notice is advisable, so they can make holiday plans as needed.

6 months before the wedding

Photography: by Lumiere

Start discussing your invitation design with your stationer, particularly if you’re looking for something bespoke or that requires more specialist printing techniques and finishing touches, such as wax seals or calligraphy. Having an idea of your style of décor, dress, colour palette, and flowers, is a great help when deciding on your stationery suite, as it can be a lovely way of setting the tone. Do ask for samples and physical mock-ups when you can, as holding the paper in your hand is very different to seeing it on a screen! When placing the final order, it’s always a good idea to order extra (at Ananya, we advise 10%) to account for last-minute invites, personal keepsakes, and any mistakes during addressing and assembly.

2-4 months before the wedding

Photography: by Roberta Facchini Photography

Start discussing your on-the-day reception stationery, like menus, table numbers, orders of service, signage, place cards, and so on. You won’t be able to place the order until you have the final guest list and menu, but this is a good time to brainstorm the design.

2-3 months before the wedding

This is a typical timescale for posting invitations out, but again, this will depend on what is right for you. If your guest list is large, and you’re thinking of doing ‘waves’ (that is, waiting for some RSVPs to come in before inviting another group) then do try to give yourself a little bit more breathing room.

1 month before the wedding

Typically, your RSVPs would be due by this point, which means you should have a final list of who is attending and their dietary requirements (which means menus can be confirmed, too). You should also have a good idea of what your ceremony structure will be at this stage. This information should be passed on to your stationer as soon as you have it, so they can finalise the on-the-day stationery order. Many couples also order their thank you cards at the same time, so they have them ready for when gifts start arriving, or for when they return from honeymoon.

2 weeks before the wedding

Photography by: John Nassari

One of the elements of the on-the-day that is ordered latest is the seating plan, as this can often be amended quite last minute!

1-3 months after the wedding

Couples often like to send their guests a thank you card within a few months of the wedding, thanking them for their attendance and gifts. Including your favourite photo of the day, or any you’ve received from your photographer at this stage, can be a lovely touch.

We hope this guideline has been helpful in making you better informed about wedding stationery timings. If you have any questions or require further clarification, please get in touch; we would be delighted to assist.

5 NOT-OBVIOUS THINGS YOU NEED TO ASK YOUR WEDDING VENUE BEFORE BOOKING: PART TWO

Here we continue our tips and advice from Part 1 of Kelly Chandler Consulting’s guest blog.

This is Part 2 of the key areas and questions couples NEED to ask their venue or potential wedding venue before booking.

4. Minimum Spend and Minimum Numbers   

Do ask about minimum guest  numbers you are required to pay for if  you decide on this venue or what  minimum spend  exists (minimum spend is sometimes used by restaurant type venues who  don’t  mind  how  many  guests or  your  choices but need you to  hit an overall amount  of revenue that  they  would  expect  to  earn  from  hiring  their  venue  exclusively  to  you  for  that  certain  date  and  time). Some  venues  charge  venue  hire  and  that  is  that  but  others  charge  a  venue  hire  based  on  a  minimum  number  of  guests  paying  X  for  catering,  so  be  sure  you  are  clear  on  what the  financial  investment  will  be  (including  VAT)  from  the  outset. It’s  all  very  normal  to  have  some  kind  of  minimum  as  at  the  end  of  the  day,  the  venue  knows  how  much  revenue  they  need  to  earn  to  maintain  their  building,  keep  it  running  and  in  great  condition,  provide  the  staff for  your  wedding  pre-planning  and  on  the  day  and  plenty  more.

5. Corkage and Drinks Service Charge   

Sometimes  the  purchasing  of  wines  and  bar  drinks  through  the  venue  is  an  essential  part  of  your  wedding  booking  and  corkage  (so  that  you  can bring  in  your  own  choices)  can  be  seen  as  a  prohibitively expensive  option. On other  occasions  venues  are  happy  that  you  bring in  your  own  drinks  directly  or  via  your  caterer,  sometimes  charging  a  service  fee  for  things  like  refrigeration,  glassware,  removing  empties  etc – it  really  depends  on  how  that  venue  is  structured  in  terms  of  a  business;  there  is  no  right  or  wrong  but  just  ensure  that  if  you’re  wanting  to  manage  the  choice  of  drinks  entirely  (I  wouldn’t  recommend  it,  there’s  a  lot  to  sort  to  stock  a  full  bar)  that  you  have  a  venue  who  can  offer  it  or  that  the  corkage  fee  is  within  your  budget. So I hope your head  doesn’t  hurt  now  but  that  you  feel  empowered  to  ask  the  right  questions  to  ensure  the  venue  you’re  choosing  is  absolutely  spot-on for  you. The right venue should spell  out  a  lot  of  the  above  but  if  you’re  not  clear,  they  should  be  helpful  and  friendly  in  explaining  their  policies  to  you  and  why  (and  these things  should  be  in  their  proposal  or  T&Cs),  so  don’t  be  afraid  to  ask. And happy  planning,  with  the  perfect  venue  booked  and  secured,  you  can  enjoy  the  creative  process  and  all  the  gorgeous  wedding  details,  ideas  and  professionals  to  help  you  bring  your  glorious  day to life. 

Thank you once again Kelly for enlightening us on the not-to-be-forgotten and not-so-obvious points we need to raise with a wedding venue before booking. We are sure that our Ananya readers will find these tips very helpful.

If you’re  an  established  or  start  up  wedding  venue  and  would  like to  know  more  about  working  with  Kelly  Chandler  Consulting  to  elevate your  offering  and  achieve  greater  success,  do  take  a  look  at  www.kellychandlerconsulting.co.uk or  call 01483  282858  for  details  of  their  consulting  and  training  programmes.  

If you are looking for stationery ideas, please have a look at our wedding collections.

Photo Credits:

Venue: Warmwell House, Dorset: https://www.warmwell-house.com

Photography: Imogen Xiana https://www.imogenxiana.com

Florals: https://www.marthaandthemeadow.com

Cakes: https://www.fanciebuns.co.uk

Bridal Accessories, Hair and Make up: http://www.victoriafergusson.co.uk

Model (bride): http://www.tanyalouisecumberland.com

Bridal gowns: http://www.naomineoh.com

Silk ribbons and silk runner: http://www.pompomblossom.com

Cross back chairs & wooden bar unit for cake/champagne station: http://dpmarquees.co.uk

5 not-obvious things you NEED to ask your wedding venue before booking: Part one

Finding  that  utterly  perfect  and  spot-on  location  to  host  your  wedding  celebration can  be  a  tough  job.  The  choice  is  limitless  and  if  you’re  not  tied  into  a  specific  geographical  area,  then  the  world  is  quite  literally  your  oyster  and  your  hunting ground! It should  be  a  fun  part  of  the  planning  and  once  you  have  found  and  secured  that  ideal  venue,  many  other  parts  of  planning  your  vision  do  click  into place. It is  the  biggest  part  of  the  planning  and  so  important  to  get  right,  so  Ananya is delighted to be  hearing  from  wedding  venue  consultant  (and  former  luxury  wedding  planner),  Kelly  Chandler of Kelly Chandler Consulting who  shares  her  tips  with  you  in an in-depth, two part blog, on  some  of  the  things  to  check  before  you  secure  your  venue  to  be  absolutely  sure  it’s  for  you;  there  is  no  right  or  wrong  to  some  of  these  suggestions  and  restrictions, and  some  will  be  fine  for  you,  others  not  -  the  aim  with  this  feature  is  purely  to  give  you  the  knowledge  to  ask  the  questions  of  the  things  that  are  hot  on  YOUR  priority  list.

Kelly Chandler

Part One

1. Exclusivity  and  Venue  Use

A  great  many  wedding  venues  now  offer  exclusivity  or  some form  of  exclusive-use  such  that  you  are  the  only  wedding  on  that  day  in  that  venue.  This  can  however  mean  different  things  within  different  venues  so  don’t  be  afraid  to  ask  and  get  specific  on  things.  For  some  locations  exclusivity  can  mean  you  have  exclusive  use  of  a  certain  dedicated  banqueting  area  but  say  not  bedrooms,  for  other locations, it  can  be  full  exclusive  use  of  an  entire  home,  gardens  and  grounds,  for  others  it  can  be exclusive  use  between  certain  hours  and  not  others. Do  find out  when  your  exclusive  use  starts  and  ends  as  every  venue  should  have a  policy  on  this  and  sometimes  it’ll  be  for  the  day  from  early  start  and  sometimes  it’ll  include  an  overnight. Find  out  what  their  policy  is  on  other  events  and  other  clients  and  if  they  run  exclusive  use  events  back  to  back  (or  not);  don't  be  afraid  to  ask  about  supplier  access  too  -  in  some  cases  venues  will  allow  suppliers  to  gain  access  early  to  set  up  the  design,  in  others  it’s  a  strict  access  time  for  anything  to  do  with  your  wedding.

2. Recommended/Preferred and Approved  Supplier  List   

Get  super  clear  on  a  venue’s  policy  with  working  with  suppliers  and  outside  wedding  professionals  and  see  that  it  works  for  you.  There  is  a  difference  between  a  recommended  or  preferred  supplier  list  where  the  venue  is  usually  giving  you  the  benefit  of  their  tried and  trusted  list  that  you  can,  but  are  not  obliged  to,  use  and  an  Approved  Supplier  List  which  is  usually  where  you  MUST  pick  from  that  list.  It’s  quite  customary  for  a  venue  to  have  an  Approved  list  you  must  use  in  the  areas  of  catering,  lighting  and  production  and  entertainment  and  marquee  build,  when  you  consider  these  are  the  areas  which  require  a  lot  of  equipment  and  run  the  greatest  degree  of  risk,  it’s  vital  that  venues  have  control  over  the  quality  and  professionalism  of  who  works  with  them  in  order  to  protect  their places  and  spaces  for  all  clients. Many  venues  will  be  more  than  happy  for  you  to  use  your  own  chosen  suppliers  in  many  areas  - do  ask  if  and  how  they  will  be  able  to  obtain  access  to  view  the  venue  in  advance  of  the  wedding  as  this  can  be  needed  in  the  case  of  for  example a  florist  who needs  to  see  a  new  space  before  coming  up  with  full  designs  for  you.  

3. Rules and Restrictions   

It’s  quite  usual  for  venues  to  have  some  rules  and  restrictions  around  the  following,  so  do  ask  away  to  see  what  your  venue  policy  is  and  if  this  works  for  you. Do  bear  in  mind  that  most  rules  are  there  to  protect  the  fabric  of  the  building  in  the  case  of  heritage  properties, to  ensure  guest safety  and  to  ensure  that  the  venue  can  continue  to  operate  in  the  case  of  noise  restrictions  - venue  operators  can  have  their  license  removed  if  noise  pollution  becomes  an  issue  so  understandably  they  need  to  enforce  some  restrictions  to  protect  against  this: Confetti  throwing - is  it  allowed? Sometimes  biodegradable/real  petal  variety  is  in  some  parts  of  the  venue,  but  often  not  on  gravel  or  on  floors that  may  stain. Naked  flames - many  venues  ban  candles  entirely  or  limit  the  use  of  free  standing  candelabra  and  naked  flames  not  in  safe  containers. Dark  drinks - in  some  heritage  buildings  red  wine  &  berry  based  drinks  are  forbidden  except  at  seated  dinners  because  of  the  spillage  and  staining  risk. Dancing - often  this  will  need  to  take  place  in  certain  parts  of  the  venue only  and  between  certain  hours - do  check  and  also  if  you  need  to  install  and  pay  for  a  dance floor. 

Fireworks - often  these  are  not  allowed  due  to  disruption  to  livestock  and  damage  to  grounds  but  some  venues  have  preferred  suppliers  who  can  work  on  their  property  if  you  have  your  heart  set  on  this  - do  ask. Sound  limiters - noise  pollution  is  one  of  the  biggest  risks  to  a  wedding  venue  not  being  able  to  continue  to  operate  so  owners  and  managers  take  this  seriously. Sometimes  they  are  required  to  install  an  actual  sound  limiter  within  the  property,  other  times  it’s  monitored  more subjectively  but  do  ask  what  sound  limits  exist  within  your  preferred  venue  and  what  entertainment  most  couples  choose. If  you  have  your  heart  set on a 10 piece  big  band  and  your  venue  has  a  fierce  sound  meter, this  is  unlikely  to  be  a  match;  most  venues  with  sound  limiters  tend  to  lean  towards  DJs  rather  than  live  bands, that said live bands can and do perform  within  the  limits of sound, it will be important to work with a professional band who takes  this seriously and prepares in advance in terms of their instruments and kit - it usually makes sense to work with the venue's preferred list in this case as the band/DJ will  have worked there before. 

Thank you Kelly for the insightful and informative first three points on booking a venue. We at Ananya love working with venues and are delighted to be a preferred wedding stationery supplier for some.

Part Two will follow shortly, so stay tuned.

Photo credits: 

Headshot photo of Kelly Chandler: http://www.annelimarinovich.com

Venue: Warmwell House, Dorset: https://www.warmwell-house.com

Photography: Imogen Xiana https://www.imogenxiana.com

Florals: https://www.marthaandthemeadow.com

Cakes: https://www.fanciebuns.co.uk

Bridal Accessories, Hair and Make up: http://www.victoriafergusson.co.uk

Model (bride): http://www.tanyalouisecumberland.com

Bridal gowns: http://www.naomineoh.com

Silk ribbons and silk runner: http://www.pompomblossom.com

Furniture - white chairs for ceremony: http://www.thewhitechaircompany.co.uk

Cross back chairs & wooden bar unit for cake/champagne station: http://dpmarquees.co.uk

Write here…

Top 10 Questions to ask a Wedding Vendor

OK, so you’re planning the biggest day of your life so far. You just have to be sure that you have the perfect suppliers. Simple! Well, unless you have a wedding planner, you’ve just taken on a huge role! Welcome to the world of project planning. To quote Stanley Tucci in The Devil Wears Prada, ‘alright everyone gird your loins!’. In other words, get ready people, this is important!

But, what if you have 10 simple questions to ask every prospective wedding vendor? LOVE IT we hear you say! At the least it leaves a bit more time for sampling cake. And at best, can save you from potentially making costly mistakes.

It doesn’t matter if you're planning an intimate elopement or something to rival a royal wedding. The team at Ananya HQ are here to help. We've got together with our friends in the wedding world to give you the top 10 questions to ask a wedding vendor.

1. From cake maker to florist, stationer to stellar photographer, you should ask to see genuine examples of their work. Take a look at their portfolio (and social media) to see examples of real weddings. If they are just starting out, then they may have aspirational images from an editorial or styled shoot. So, ask your wedding vendor to show you great real examples of their work. 

Ananya's range of floral invitations

2. So you’ve seen their work and you like it. All good so far. Now you need to ask about their credentials so that you can invite them to your big day. We don’t expect you to become best friends (although that sometimes happens). But, even though you like them it pays to see what other people say. A wedding vendor should be able to show you testimonials and/or references from recent work. And, if they say they are a member of a professional body, check out their membership. For example, Ananya is a partner member of UKAWP, the UK Alliance of Wedding Planners. 

3. Ask about insurance. A reputable wedding vendor will have public liability and professional indemnity insurance in place. Public liability insurance covers the wedding vendor for accidental damage or harm. For example, someone may trip over a piece of equipment provided by the vendor. As a result they might seek compensation from the vendor for injury or harm. Professional Indemnity is about the services etc. that a wedding vendor provides. For example, a client may allege that the vendor has provided inadequate service or a poor design.  The insurance provides cover for legal costs and expenses to defend such a claim.  It also allows for compensation to be potentially paid to you the client, to rectify the mistake. 

4. What’s the back-up plan? Of course the majority of time things go smoothly! But sometimes (see note on insurance!) things can go wrong. So, if the venue burns down, there's a major flood, or the vendor goes out of business, what happens? Is there a plan in place to make sure that your wedding goes ahead as planned? Or, if your wedding vendor falls ill what happens? Is there a plan in place to make sure that you get the service or goods that you paid for? 

5. Now this next one is a thorny one. Most people will ask a wedding vendor about how many weddings have they done. True, that is important. But it isn’t just about quantity. It’s also about the type of weddings they do, and their experience. A luxury supplier may only work with ten wedding clients per year, for example. But, when those events are 3 days in duration and on a large scale, their experience may well eclipse someone who does thirty low budget events.  Ultimately, ask a combination of questions. For example, how many weddings have they done? What type of weddings and if applicable, where have they worked?

6. By now you will have a good idea of how professional your vendor is. But if necessary, ask if they work as a full time professional in their field of expertise.

7. Be sure to ask about payment! So, when do you need to pay the supplier? What are the fees and cancellation charges and schedule? Are there any extras that need to be considered that aren’t included as part of the options available?

8. When will you receive what you order? Timing is everything! You don't want to be fretting over flowers during bridal prep! Or, waiting for your photos a year later!

9. T&C’s and contracts. If a wedding vendor doesn’t provide services with a contract or T&C’s, the decision is simple. Walk away!

10. At the end of your vendor assessment does everything feel ‘right’? If you have any concerns, ask questions now rather than after you sign on the dotted line!

Photo by SanShine Photography from a styled shoot Ananya created stationery for

We hope that you have a wonderful, perfectly planned wedding day. And if you would love to talk to us about stationery design, stop by and say hello at info@ananyacards.com. We’d love to be part of your day.

A Wedding Planning Guide For The Fridge Door

When you're planning your wedding, it's easy sometimes to feel rather overwhelmed by the whole thing. You might even be waking up in the night thinking "have I told the florist exactly which roses I want" or "did I book the photographer".

Okay, so you might have checklists galore, special apps on your phone and a long-suffering chief bridesmaid/best friend/mother to let off steam to.

The thing is, you're probably doing just fine. And it's important that you enjoy the build-up to your wedding because it's actually a very special time. You've a wonderful day ahead to look forward to, you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with ... so don't spoil it by getting over-stressed.

That also means not taking on too much. For example, you may be dreaming of having a DIY wedding and planning to make wedding favours, cakes, decorations yourself. This isn't a great idea because you'll almost certainly underestimate the amount of time all this is going to take you. So work out what is genuinely do-able and outsource the rest.

If you really feel the need for a visual checklist, then we've created these handy two visuals which you can print out and stick on your fridge door so that you can assure yourself you're doing all the right things by the right time.

Look at it month by month and know that you're keeping up with everything (or there are a few things you still need to be thinking about).

For example, you don't really need to have sorted out a florist until about 9 months before the wedding - although if you're choosing one who is particularly popular it's best to sign them up as soon as possible.

Interestingly, one of the most important things to get sorted early isn't choosing your wedding dress, booking your venue or asking your friends to be your bridesmaids. It's actually setting a budget for your wedding day. It's key because it's actually going to affect many aspects of your big day - the sort of venue you can afford, whether you have a wedding breakfast and a dinner, how many guests you have, what wine you serve and of course, what you wear. So set a realistic wedding budget between the two of you and stick to it - you don't want to start off married life in debt.

Get everything sorted calmly and coolly before your big day and you'll see that on the day before your wedding you can actually have a bit of a relax. Help to decorate the venue and enjoy some beauty treatments (a mani-pedi - but don't have a facial the day before your wedding in case of breakouts).

We'd love to help you with your wedding stationery so if there is anything special you have in mind do get in touch.

In the meantime, cut out these two handy wedding planning guides and pin them to your noticeboard or fridge door!